Talking Animals and A Questionably-Talented Teacher!

July 9, 2011 at 12:04 AM (Uncategorized)

It was an alright evening at the movies.  It is hard for addicts to break habits, so we wound up going to see movies, whether or not they actually were any good.  For what we did see, I guess that I will say they were alright!

We started with Zookeeper!  It begins with Griffin Keyes (Kevin James) riding a horse while on the beach.  He is with friend Stephanie (Leslie Bibb), with whom he wants to have a serious relationship.  Stephanie is not interested because Griffin is only a zookeeper!

Griffin returns to work, tending to animals and a lonely monkey.  He is there with fellow worker, Kate (Rosario Dawson).  They are working with an ill lioness that swallowed a soda can!

They both attend the engagement party for Griffin’s brother.  Griffin has a porcupine with him, and he starts to make a statement for his brother.  Yet, Griffin begins speaking gibberish when he eyes the woman at the party whom he likes!  The other animals there seem to be observing.

At the zoo, Griffin gets a higher job offer.  He is in his Kate’s office, and he receives details, while getting stabbed by a porcupine’s quill.  Kate helps Griffin with removing the quill, as he is fumbling in front of her because he likes her.  He winds up being poked by the quill, again!

That night, an elephant, a giraffe, and a monkey call a meeting of the zoo animals.  They meet because they are concerned about  Griffin being with Kate.  They do not want him with Kate because they believe that she will take him away from them!  Joe the lion (voice of Sylvester Stallone) stresses that the code of no speaking between animals and humans is not to be broken.  Yet, Janet the lioness (voice of Cher) works with the other animals to arrange a plan to help Griffin without speaking to him!

After getting past the lion actually vocalizing “what the hell is wrong with you” to him, Griffin tries to approach the animals the next day.  Joe speaks again, prompting Griffin to run, and to knock himself out!  The other animals gather around Griffin, deciding to help him to become an alpha male among the zoo habitants. 

Upon speaking with Griffin, they come to understand that he wants to date Stephanie.  The zoo animals opt to teach Griffin some of their dating/mating rituals.  Bernie the Gorilla (voice of Nick Nolte) tries instructing Griffin by showing him how alpha males approach females.  Yet, Molly the Giraffe (voice of Maya Rudolph) attempts having Griffin deal with Stephanie by using more sensative tactics!

The film was fun to watch, and especially amusing for animal lovers.  There was brief controversy over it, regarding scenes with an elephant in the movie.  Some reports claimed that the elephant may have been abused during prior movie filming, and activists did not want this mammal participating in Zookeeper.  However, producers of the movie stated that no animals were harmed during the making of the movie, and that they did work with The American Humane Association to ensure that all of them were treated properly.

Poster for Zookeeper

Our second film was Bad Teacher!  This was a funny film about a young teacher who really is NOT interested in her job, at first.  Cameron Diaz plays Elizabeth Halsey, a young and carefree lady having struggles with her marriage because she has very bad ways!  She ends up getting a job as a neophyte seventh grade school teacher who does NOT care to be teaching.  She is rude to her students, giving them credit for not learning anything!

Other teachers there see that Elizabeth is not doing a good job, yet some of them attempt to extend an olive branch to her.  As she totally ignores her students, the gym teacher, Russell (Jason Segel), introduces himself to her.  He tries to be her friend, but Elizabeth rejects him.  It is shortly afterward when substitute teacher Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake) makes himself known to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth decides that she wants to have breast enhancement, and she picks an operation that costs $93,000.  Wanting to get more money, Elizabeth plays up to the school principal in order to set up a school car wash.  He agrees, so the day for the car wash arrives, and Elizabeth gets to the parking lot dressed like tramp-supreme!  She arouses all of the male teachers there, as Scott arrives late, while excited and flirting.

The next day, Elizabeth tries getting comfortable with Scott.  Also, she tries meeting with the parents of her students, and they are NOT impressed by her.  Yet, one parent requests that Elizabeth give her son extra assistance with learning.  This prompts Elizabeth to have a fund raiser for the kids (which also will help her raise money for her breast implants).

Meanwhile, Scott meets with fellow teacher Amy (Lucy Punch), with whom he finds that he has a lot in common.  Both of them discuss their favorite novel, Eat, Pray, Love.  Elizabeth continues through the school in a blasé manner, with one student catching her smoking pot.  It is at a school party later, when Elizabeth is there, and Scott tells her that he has a crush on Amy.    However, Elizabeth attempts to sway Scott’s affections for the other woman, as she tells him that she plans to have a boob job!

Elizabeth offers a negative outlook on life to one male student, she shows Scream one day to the class, and she continues to ignore all of them.  Yet, Scott invites her to see the band, and she accepts.  He invites fellow teacher Lynn (Phyllis Smith) as well, as a semi-gathering of the teachers happens.  They try bonding, but Elizabeth only can think of her boob job!

A recent school fundraiser earned $50,000.  This inspires Elizabeth to host a school fund raiser in order to help her gain money for her breast implants.  She chooses to become a better teacher, wanting to win money for the year’s best teacher, also. 

Elizabeth starts flirting with Scott.  Yet, she gets busted for smoking weed when a student sees her, and he comments about it to another teacher, Amy.  However, as Amy tries to tell the principal, she is ignored because he is controlled by Elizabeth! 

Now, Elizabeth is rough with her students.  She pushes them to succeed because she wants them to pass this exam so that she can get the money for the best teacher award.  Elizabeth needs Principal Wally on her side, so she baits him with a surprise, nearly-sexual encounter while in his office.  She drugs his drink, and he passes out!

Now, Elizabeth goes through Principal Wally’s desk, retrieving details on the students’ exams.  She uses the information to make faked score records.  This allows her to be set to receive money for the best teacher because of the allegedly best scores!

Amy continues to conflict with Elizabeth, now over Scott.  Elizabeth realizes that Amy loves apples, so she covers one with poison ivy.  Amy eats it, then she breaks out with a severe rash!  She has to be hospitalized!

Now, Elizabeth and Scott have gotten together as the lead teachers with the students.  Amy gets out of the  hospital, and she opts to get back at Elizabeth.  Amy manages to get into Elizabeth’s classroom when she is away, and she gets an actual copy of the standardized test for her students to take.  Amy takes the real exam to the principal, for it to be distributed properly.

Elizabeth and Scott wind up meeting one evening.  It turns into a date, pushed by Elizabeth.  They get together, finding themselves together at his home at the end of the night.  As Elizabeth wants Scott’s assistance at the school, she allows him to get more than acquainted with her.  They reach a point of sexual interaction, boring to Elizabeth, yet exciting for Scott.  The two wind up in Scott’s bed, fully-clothed, where he dry-humps her, staining his jeans!

Elizabeth tape-recorded the event!  She played it over the telephone to Amy.  She knew that Amy likes Scott, so she knew that hearing him in the encounter with her would upset Amy, also meaning to have her back off of her plans to be seen as the better teacher!

A field trip arises with Elizabeth and her students.  There, one male student confesses that he likes a female in the class.  The male student, Garrett (Matthew J. Evans), winds up bonding with Elizabeth.  She gives Garrett one of her bras to show off to other students, making him seem like he had an encounter with a much older and attractive woman! 

Amy gets ready to bust Elizabeth by informing him of her alleged misdeeds with the students’ test scores.  Yet, Elizabeth has another teacher to threaten the superintendent with pictures of him making seemingly secret lewd actions and comments.  A meeting is called subsequently, and the alleged bad deeds by both teachers are dismissed as untruthful.

Elizabeth makes a retaliatory move against Amy.  There had been some interaction between Amy and a male teacher involving marijuana.  Elizabeth gets a drug investigation pushed, and the other teacher gets fired.  Also, Amy is transferred out of the school district, to Malcolm X High School, one of the worst school districts in the state!  

Scott tries to make amends with Elizabeth.  However, she rejects him.  Her failure with Scott, and her uncomfortable situation at the school, lead Elizabeth to quit teaching.  Yet, after being pulled aside by the school gym teacher, Russell (Jason Segel), Elizabeth gains a new outlook.  She decides to return to the school, now working as a guidance counselor, and she develops a relationship with Russell!

Bad Teacher (2011) Poster

The FINAL Harry Potter film premieres next week!  A fully-fledged feud will take place, as the worthy wizards engage in battle against all of the malevolent magicians.  Will Harry finally defeat Lord Voldemort?!?!

July 20 will have a return of Batman with The Dark Knight Rises!  It will be exciting, featuring the big and beast-like Bane, along with Anne Hathaway as Catwoman!  Christian Bale will return as Batman.  The film also features Michael Cane, Gary Oldman, and Morgan Freeman.

The rest of July does feature exciting films.  Captain America:  The First Avenger premieres July 22.  Cowboys and Aliens premieres July 29.  August will bring Rise of the Planet of the Apes, The Whistleblower, Conan the Barbarian, Fright Night, One Day, and Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark!



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